Plush Baby Yoda, Sad NickToons, and More Treasures From the 2020 New York Toy Fair

Photo: Craig Barritt/Getty Images for Disney

Art in the, ahem, Age of Mechanical Reproduction has many purposes, depending on which artist/philosopher/studio executive you ask: It helps us understand ourselves, it helps us understand others, it challenges us, it entertains us, it offers representation. It also sells toys. Loads and loads of toys, action figures, merch, plushies, and franchise-branded board games and collectibles. They're the cash cow that keeps everything from Rick & Morty to Care Bears pumping, and they help bring our favorite media out beyond the screen, incorporating it into our lives and over-cluttered spaces. We traipsed around the 2020 New York Toy Fair over the weekend, which is basically upfronts for merch, to see what we could find out about the year in pop culture based on its affiliated toys. It's like the world's biggest Toys 'R' Us (R.I.P.), only with things that aren't out yet and no children are allowed. Huge Al's Toy Barn vibes. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it. Below, the findings from this grueling mission.

We have expressed disappointment in the past on Vulture dot com at the lack of soft, cuddly, Baby Yoda merch. But later this year, 100 percent cuddly improvements are on their way!

These ones were just prototypes, but they're so cute we wanted to The Child-nap them.

Don't bother us while we're feeding our son.

Although, considering the way Funko Funko-fies everything into having a teeny baby body and huge cute head, these might as well be regular-Yoda Funkos.

Mulan comes out March 27, and when the "Reflection" instrumental drops in the trailer, we cry every time.

But based on these Funkos, Jamie Foxx's human character will look like this fedora dude in soul form. Are the mini-souls … child souls?

Just look at the tiny Union Jack button on Barley's highly detailed denim vest. There wasn't nearly enough Cyclops Cop merch for our liking.

Hope not! Also, we're not sure what "Smart Lab: Part of The Quatro Group" is, but it gives us huge Globo-Chem vibes.

Perfect for a "Girlfriends Game Night."

For WW84. It's uncanny! Depending on how many doll wigs you own (What's the natural average: 12? 15 doll wigs?) you can dress her up as Target Lady and Gilly, too.

The erotic fan art can't be far off.

Complete with trendy slouchy boots.

Keep one of these on hand at all times, so that in the off-chance you run into Keanu Reeves you can hand it to him.

Only cute, classic video-game Sonic allowed.

Haus of Ty staying relevant.

And the Rachel Bloom hard-rock villain troll is adorable.

Trailers for The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run have teased a baby version of SpongeBob, but get a load of Baby Patrick! Those cheeks.

Not all memes were Sponge-based, though. There was also …

There was also a foot spa Barbie, because self-care comes in many forms, all expensive.

The diaper turns blue or pink when you put it in water. Toys: the frontline of enforcing the gender binary on kids.

Hey girl! Where you been?

It makes so much more sense in toy form than actual-real-vehicle-with-humans-inside-it form.

This is way too much fun and will cause a million accidents.

He was there promoting Netflix's Spirit Riding Free series. Of all the animated movies from the early 2000s, who could've guessed that Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron would be the one to come back in a big way?

Could these little squishy round cats be the next Baby Shark?

It's nice to know there's still a market for Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, even if they were giving me sad Corduroy Bear vibes.

For when the revolution begins.

Cursed object.

He comes with tiny, accurate disembodied John Cena heads.

Bride of Forky.

Mini figs so you can act out your own, much better, finale.

Hidden in the bottom corner of a booth full of Rick and Morty stuff. No company was brave enough to make sexy, furry, humanoid Cats action figures. What I would give for a Skimbleshanks Thomas the Tank Engine set!

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